Thawed and Confused

I have  a confession to make.

I am an incurable optimist. Every year as soon as New Year’s celebrations are completed and the confetti has been swept up, if whatever snow we might have had has melted I immediately assume that THIS YEAR we are going to have an early spring. If I’m outside, and a breeze wafts by that doesn’t freeze my nose off my face, I start wondering if I have any gas in my lawn mower, because clearly, I’m going to need to start mowing my grass. Probably as soon as next week!

Reality doesn’t matter. Who cares if it’s still January—I’m pretty sure that’s the sun I see. And if you can see the sun, summer can’t be that far off. And summer means flowers, and gardening, and trips to the beach, and camping, and fireworks, and flip-flops and bees. Stupid bees, I’m still mad about my toe. Optimistic, but mad. Did I eat all the s’mores chocolate? Where do you suppose I put the sunblock?

Imagine my surprise when the snow and bone chilling cold return before I’ve located my lotion. I did not see that coming--who knew January could be so cold? Surely February will herald the return of spring, we’ll probably see the first robin right around Valentine’s Day. I can use my Valentine’s chocolate for s’mores, hooray!

That’s the beauty of optimism, it needn’t be fact based. In fact, if it IS fact based, I’m not sure that it qualifies as optimism—it’s FACT. Optimism is more ethereal, like hope. And as Emily Dickinson once wrote “Hope is a thing with feathers.”

I think she meant a robin. Hello Spring!

One Little Word

Once upon a time, in a Life I used to live, I was a Scrapbooker. I was a Taker of Pictures –the real kind, not with a phone; the kind you get printed out and place in an album. I was a Keeper of Memories, writing things down, a Curator of Life.

Funny thing, Life. It often changes. Sometimes when I’m not paying attention, sometimes even when I am. So, for a variety of reasons, both the expected and the unexpected, my life changed and I’m not much of a Scrapbooker anymore. At least not actively.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m great at making New Year’s Resolutions and sticking to them—provided I don’t make them right around New Years. My resolutions seem to have better staying power if I set with them awhile first, think about them, try them on for size. For that reason, I’m nowhere near ready to commit resolutions to paper—or to whatever the internet is made out of-- either.

I am ready to commit to One Little Word however. According to fellow Scrapbooker Ali Edwards, (Ah! THAT’S why she was blathering on about scrapbooking!) One Little Word is a word chosen to “focus on, to live with, to investigate, to write about, to craft with, and to reflect on as (one) goes about...daily life.”

One little word. That concept really resonates with me. After all, it’s on a single, highly personal word. How hard can it be? That’s the beauty of it. It can be as simple or as complex and you make it. The further you go, the deeper you dive, the more you explore the word you’ve chosen-- the more life changing it can become.

Sit down with a pencil and a piece of paper and make list of words that inspire: Action, Breathe, Connect, Discipline, Engage, Flourish, Gratitude, Heal, Joy, Listen, Mindful, Nest, Pause, Quit, Routine, Soar, Thankful, Whittle, Yes. Find one that resonates with you. In the past, I’ve chosen Attitude, Rise, Savor, and Discover.

This year, the word that is speaking to me is More. I want more; to appreciate more, to give more. To write more love letters, to savor more sunsets, to walk more, dance more, create more---I want MORE. My resolutions—when I get around to making them-- will have “more” in them.

Who knows? Perhaps I’ll even scrapbook more.

Resolved 2018

2018: a brand-new year, only used a couple of days, still has that hopeful smell. January is a time of new beginnings, a calendar full of fresh pages. It’s that time of year when I am chocked full of good intentions and eager to put them into practice. Early in January anything seems possible and my list of resolutions can be impressive—I plan to be a much better person; one that leaps tall buildings in a single bound, fits into the jeans she wore in 1979---San Francisco Riding Gear if you must know, SIZE SEVEN; a person who-- while working tirelessly for world peace-- still finds time to be kind to small animals and whose junk drawers are an enviable example of organization. Basically, a human unicorn—something that is nice to think about but probably doesn’t exist. But in January, all seems possible. Perhaps it is the leftover Magic of Christmas that is still spicing the air, I don’t really know why, but I do know it’s way too easy to get carried away and make rash resolutions.

My true resolutions don’t usually come to light until about mid-month, it seems to take me about that long to narrow down what it is I truly want to change/accomplish. Interesting side note: STOP PROCRASTINATING has never made my resolution list—just never got around to it, I suppose.

I spend time in January thinking about what I like, what I want and what I can do to make that happen. If I jump in too early I find that what I think I want or want to change, isn’t the actual problem. For example: one thing I’d like to do is “Go to Yoga”. It would seem simple to set that as my goal. But after spending time reflecting I find out that “Yoga Going” isn’t really the issue. The issue is WHY I don’t go. Yoga starts at 9 am on Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning is also deadline day for this column. If you know me at all, you can already see where the problem might lie. Turns out, my TRUE New Year’s Resolution needs to be less “go to yoga” and more “write Garden Gate BEFORE Tuesday morning.” Yoga going will follow as soon I solve the procrastination problem.

And I will.

Soon. I just need some time to think about it first. In the mean time my junk drawer is alphabetized—which means I now refer to it as my Drawer, with Junk: A through Z.

Happy New Year!