Mother of Dragons

I am the mother of boys.

I have very little experience with girls—other than my own distant memory as a girl of being told to pull up my knee socks and to comb my hair. SPOILER ALERT—as an adult I solved those two problems by no longer wearing knee socks and... come to think of it, I still need to comb my hair, but that is not my point.

My point is that put in my time in the Boy Trenches of parenthood—where prom dresses and princess hair weren’t really a thing we did. We did lots of mud and motorbikes and rolling around on the ground. Eventually, my boys have all grown up to be men, realized that girls don’t actually have cooties and have fallen in love.

 I really enjoying having these girls—women-- in my life. And while we don’t go prom dress shopping together—apparently there aren’t a lot of Adult Proms—they have each graciously invited me to go bridal gown shopping.

Bridal gown shopping is THE BEST SHOPPING. And I’m not just saying that because of the mimosas. Although mimosas are delightful, I’m not gonna lie. Bridal gown shopping always entails brunch and the entire reason for brunch is not to have a mix of breakfast and lunch foods as I once believed, but to have a boozy breakfast/lunch with out the “is it five o’clock somewhere” guilts. Add a wee splash of juice to champagne, call the meal “brunch,” and celebrate at will. Being a girl is awesome! Who knew?

After brunch we head to the first of two bridal shops—always conveniently located within walking distance. So consistently convenient that I wonder-- which came first, the bridal shop or the brunch spot? “Gee, I’d really like to open a Bridal Boutique on this block but there are no brunch places nearby. Sad.”

Without fail, we never find The Dress at the first shop. It is entirely possible that we are only at this first shop to kill time while we sober up before driving to the next shop where we will find The Dress of her Dreams.

Circle of Life: Aiden

On the third day of February, in the year of our Lord 2020, The Sume Family welcomed its newest member. Aiden Allen Sume, seven pounds, 15 plus ounces—just shy of being the full eight-pounder—and a whopping 19.5 inches “tall.”

Aiden seems to be a perfect unicorn of a baby—born with an impressive head of hair, he smiles all the time and sleeps a LOT—something I am unfamiliar with. In my experience,

Do you think they'll keep him?

Sume babies think sleep is for sissies.

He has the hands of an NBA baller, and the most perfect little baby toes. His parents, and his fur-siblings, are properly smitten. And his arrival now gives us SUME COUSINS—hooray!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a baby to hold—one so fresh he still has that new baby smell of heaven on him.

For Devin

I wrote this a couple of years ago for my middle son...
On Monday, February 3--he became a parent.
I love you, Devin.

To Do List, DONE

I’ve crossed my fingers and put all my energies into hoping for an early spring. Should that wish be granted, I’ll have a lot of tasks that need to be completed, ASAP. The best way I’ve found to accomplish that is to make a To Do List.

Some early spring chores I recommend doing now are: 1) Apply chicken poo to your flower beds. The fertilizer will make all your plants happy and vigorous-- applying it now means your neighbors will be that much less likely to share in the aromatherapy. 2) Give your motorized gardening equipment a tune up so all will be ready and operational when mowing season rolls around.

I can check Task Number Two off of my to do list already, as I accidently accomplished it last fall. My mower made the trip in to see the Mower Doctor because the spinnyroundythingy that drives the blades wouldn’t spinnyroundy unless you first shoved a stick in there and made it engage. Full confession: I did that a couple of times so I could finish mowing, but eventually that was too redneck, even for me, and I gave in and sent my mower Out Town to be repaired. And while they had it, might as well give the old girl the full spa treatment. Lawnmower tune-up: CHECK.

I’ve learned one key trick to having a To Do List full of TahDONE items—backfill your list. I will often have a to do list that at the beginning of the day looks like this: 1) Pay Bills on-line. 2) Fold laundry. 3) Clean cat box.

With backfilling my list at the end of the day, it looks more like this: 1) Pay bills on line. CHECK. 1A-infinity) Read All of Twitter. CHECK. 2) Fold Laundry. 2A) Reorganize sock drawer. CHECK. 2B) Discard old socks. CHECK. 2C) Retrieve old socks from garbage. CHECK.  2D) Make cat toy utilizing old sock, catnip, and dryer lint. CHECK. 2E) Play rousing game of WHEN SOCKS ATTACK with cats. CHECK. 2F) take catnap. CHECK. 3) Clean cat box. Not checked. Who has time for that? Look at all the OTHER STUFF I accomplished today! 4) Clean dryer lint trap. CHECK!

Backfilled properly, even the laziest of To Do lists and give you quite the sense of accomplishment.