Happy Fence Day to Me

It’s a fence! An actual fence, with an actual gate, and everything. It zaps, it repels, it protects, and I am thrilled to have it, Hooray! It’s the fence I’ve been waiting for since 2013—even if it wasn’t the fence I envisioned.

This fence even comes with old doggie provisions, special openings in the fence that allow my mom’s old dog to follow her morning routine without interruption. My intrepid fence builder took into considerations her old doggie needs and made the necessary accommodations, and that makes my heart very happy.

The new fence does come with a learning curve—and I’m not just referring to the elk. Or the old dog. The first morning after completion I remembered to unplug the fence before dragging the hose to and fro, watering my flowers. Yay for remembering! Yay for not getting zapped! Yay for me!

I left for Out Town with a happy heart, knowing my flowers could bloom unmenaced by marauding beasties. Three hours later I was frantically texting my neighbor to see if she was at home and willing to go plug the fence in. Thankfully she was both at home and willing. Seems I still have more to remember…Yay for good neighbors!

Speaking of flowers---over the weekend I went to Flower World, in Maltby. It’s like Disneyworld for plant lovers. Fifteen acres of retail display area, of which at least three of those acres are undercover. The place is amazing, and even though I didn’t really need anything, I did see a new color variety of marigold that I just HAD to have. As a wise man once said, you can never go wrong with marigolds.

Fence Commenced, Sort Of

So--- last week, when I mentioned that I was starting construction of my long anticipated fence, I was a wee bit nervous making such a bold statement ahead of actually building the darn thing. Turns out that I was right to be wary. You know what they say, hiccups happen.

A dear friend-- whom I have known from kindergarten-- came to help. And by help I mean he came to do the heavy lifting. And the pounding. And, apparently, the heavy thinking as well. What can I say? I’m very pretty. Turns out it might have been a good idea to open the boxes ahead of time and check the contents. Who knew?

Suffice it to say, the fence “energizer”—a nice, euphemistic way of saying ZAPPER UNIT—is the wrong one. Turns out, the unit I ordered is strong enough to deter small, meek pests; rabbits, chickens, raccoons and the like. Elk, however, are not as easily dissuaded. The weenie little 800 volts that will encourage a ‘coon to look elsewhere won’t even make an elk blink. For the four-footed spawn of Satan you need 4 to 5 THOUSAND volts.

Back to the drawing board—or in this case, the website and order a super-duper shocking unit, one with enough power to encourage the elk to forage elsewhere.

The wrong energizer sucked the momentum right out of my fence building energy. T-posts are driven and waiting, but the power unit won’t be here until Wednesday. No polywire could be strung without the power to keep elk at bay; I certainly don’t want to teach them to disrespect the fence.

So, here I am, kind of where I was last week—boldly stating that I AM BUILDING MY FENCE. FOR REALS.

Probably.

Commence Fence

By the time you read this I will have already begun construction of my long-anticipated fence. It’s hard to believe this is so—after years of complaining and researching, complaining and hoping, disappointments and reboots, topped off with a little more complaining—the time has finally come ‘round. I am commencing the fence.

I’m hoping I thought of everything—ordered all the parts in all the correct amounts. 15 t-posts were the last piece I need to procure and they are now in my possession, thanks to the generosity of a good friend and her truck. We saved on the delivery fee and went out to lunch instead, a win/win in my book. I even ordered two signs that remind small boys that my fence is electric, and they should probably refrain from peeing on it. OR ELSE.

I know some of you are concerned what I will do with myself once the fence is completed—whatever will Sue compla—I mean—WRITE about now?

Never fear, Gentle Reader, I’m sure I’ll find something. Probably all that non-stop blooming and growing will eventually get on my nerves. The lushness! The beauty! Garden beds looking even more beautiful the next morning than they did at dusk! It will take some getting used to, that’s for sure. Bear with me, please.