New York City Edition

Gardening in NYC

I recently visited a friend who lives in New York. This friend ---whom, for purposes of this story, I’m going to call Philip (Hi Philip!)---lives and works in The City that Never Sleeps. 

Proving the veracity of this statement he woke me up early---crack of dawn early-- Monday morning to drive me across the city to show me the Chelsea Flower Market.

Philip at the Flower Market

The Chelsea Flower Market is an amazing street full of wholesale flowers and plants, but be wary! The only prices you will see posted are for the very limited parking and it is $27 for the first half hour. And no, I am not kidding, $27. For 30 minutes.

Roses of every color
That's me in the pink shirt

The flowers are sold in bunches, when you inquire as to the prices they will either recognize you on sight or look you up in the computer before answering. I watched my very talented friend navigate these procedures and when he was given an answer ($4) I thought ‘Oh, that’s not bad, it’s wholesale after all.’ What I didn’t realize is that you have to buy the bunch--10 stems—and the price is PER STEM. Yikes. $40 wholesale. But, then again, it’s cheaper than an hour’s-worth of parking.

You make your choices, lay them on a rack, then move on to the next shop while they wrap your purchases in plain brown paper.  Philip was hunting for “modern” flowers, so no roses---even though they had roses in every possible shade imaginable---no peonies, daffodils, etc. Instead he chose pale blush colored tube-roses---tall and spiky; lots of green things that I don’t know the name of but they looked like blobs of lime green moss on a stem---sort of like flowers by Dr. Seuss. He chose orchid colored water lilies, and several bunches of feathery, spiky grasses---it was all very modern.

Said and done we got out of there for just under $500. Not counting the parking.

There were even dried roses in EVERY color combination you can imagine .
And some that should have never been imagined...
For the love of ----WHY???!!!

Friends

Imagine you have ten large brand new pots, filled with rich, black, organic, moisture control potting soil. These pots---along with all the pots you usually plant--- are just crying out to be planted, “Plant met! Plant me!” You can hear it in your sleep.

You also have ten million, four hundred and eighty seven bedding plants (Give or take a couple. You gave away five to a friend. Perhaps as a bribe for future help, perhaps because you’re super generous, perhaps because you have 128 of the same variety and five less isn’t going to hurt, perhaps all of the above.) Anyway. You have ten million, four hundred and eighty TWO bedding plants, ten new pots and four “old” pots that need to be brought together in a glorious union of pots and plants. Ten million etc., etc., divided by fourteen (carry your one people!) means you’re still going to have left over plants. LOTS of left over plants, stuffed in teeny, tiny little nursery plugs, that are in desperate need to stretch their roots---whatcha gonna do?

Your really cool friends will ride a motorcycle over to help

Take shameless advantage of your friends, of course. The same friends you lured over with the promise of iced tea--- if you were REALLY thinking ahead you could have enlisted their help in emptying the beer cans that are filling the bottom of your pots, instead of scrounging through the garbage like a demented recycler---but no worries, tea will work just as well for a bribe.

Do your best Tom Sawyer white-washing the fence move and make potting up the remaining 10 million plants into larger pots look like The Most Fun Ever. Your friends won’t be able to resist and will beg to help. (Don’t make them pay for the pleasure. No reason to be a greedy Tom.) They will form an efficient assembly line of plant re-potting and you are now free to go scrounge around for more 4” pots. 

Or take a nap. Whichever.

Secrets

Its a start...

So you have all these LARGE pots—say ten. And you have all these bags of lovely organic potting soil with built in moisture control—say twelve. And you have exactly ten million, four hundred and eighty seven bedding plants that desperately need a new home. And the wedding for which you have promised to provide beautiful flowering pots is IN LESS THAN 100 DAYS. And these pots will need to be planted in one place, live in another place, and then be moved into place for the wedding.

And did I mention they are LARGE pots? With moisture control potting mix? And that these suckers are going to be H-E-A-V-Y? And I am puny when it comes to upper body strength? Not puny enough that you should worry about me in the event of a zombie apocalypse---trust me, I’m strong enough to fight zombies—but puny enough that people often feel obliged to come lift heavy things for me. So how do I make these pots light enough for me to lift by my little puny self?

I have a secret: Recycling.

Yes. Really. Take your ten pots-- hopefully you have had the foresight to either buy pots with drain holes, drill them yourself or (and this is my favorite method) get your favorite brother-in-law to drill them for you. Anyway, ten pots with drain holes. Some people advocate filling the bottom of the pot with gravel for drainage but I say gravel is expensive and HEAVY and if your pots are LARGE---fill the bottom third of your pots with your recycling.

Recycling: its not just good for the planet
It's also good for your back

 Empty gallon milk jugs--or any clean plastic container with lids on tight—empty aluminum cans, bulky Styrofoam; any bulky, light, non-biodegradable item will do. Fill the bottom ¼ - 1/3 of your pot with your recycling. If you have styrofoam peanuts add them to fill in the cracks, otherwise a few compacted beer cans will work. 

Top it all off with a layer of landscape fabric to keep the soil from washing down into the recycling. Now fill with potting soil. Easy. Peasy. DONE.

With a Little Help from My Friends

Pot Edition

What do you do when you have 10 brand-new LARGE empty pots, ten million, four hundred and eighty seven bedding plants, and 12 bags of organic potting mix? Oh—and in less than a 100 days, there’s a wedding in your back yard.

If you said “freak out”, I will give you partial credit---but the correct answer we’re looking for is: Enlist the help of those nearest and dearest to you. And the neighbors who were lured over by the promise of iced tea. And their three-year-old granddaughter. And anyone else who may be passing by.

For those of you who are saying “That’s all fine and dandy, Sue, but what does that look like in step by step terms?” Never fear! I will break it down for you.

Because of space constraints I’m going to skip over the part where I discuss purchasing ten million, four hundred and eighty seven bedding plants---I needed no help in that endeavor, just a credit card---and get right down to the nitty-gritty: potting up the plants.

My Pretties

How cool is that? And it was called "Latte"
I HAD to have it

Too pretty to leave behind

 

After you’ve agreed to host the event, purchased as many large Costco pots as would fit in your car and carefully calculated the exact number of cubic feet of potting soil needed to fill X number of pots (in this equation X = pots. 

Cameron pushing Jordan.
Because if you can't have fun...why would you do it?

 Multiple X by the number of bags of potting soil you think you can easily convince your sons to load, divide by the number of sons you have---carry the one—take that number and add two more bags to it because you don’t want to run out; remember large pot=large bags so add an extra—wait. Did I remember to carry the one? Count the number of pots again. Squint at the bags. Decide the bags will fit in the pots. Carry the one...



Oh, just get as many bags of potting mix as you have pots. Plus two.

Simple math people. Now go home and pot.

My work. Cut out for me.