Gardening with Sue: Tree Planting Edition

Did you ever have one of those Good Ideas? You know the kind, you have them—they are good—nay, GREAT—and so you commence with the Good/Great Idea only to discover that there is a lot—and I do mean a LOT—of work involved? But you may have already made bold public statements about this Great Idea, as well as dropped a boat load of cash at the nursery? So, you’re kind of stuck with this not-so-great-idea that entails a whole lot of labor? And the labor is manual? With your name attached? Anybody? Just me?

It all started because of my antipathy towards elk. Fast forward through year of complaining, threatening to build a fence, etc., etc., etc.; arrive at the early stages of fence building. In my case, that involved the removal of a group of alders that shaded my back deck but whose structural integrity was called into question. Remove alders, commence clean up, discover back deck is insufferably hot.

Enter the Great Idea. I need a new tree to shade the deck! Do lots of research. And by do research I mean pick the brain of your personal Lorax for tree recommendations. Enlist the aid of another friend who loves shopping for plants. Borrow pickup truck. Take road trip to fantasy nursery. Start by having lunch! It’s a beautiful day! Trees are lovely! Fall in love with a BIG TREE! It’s perfect! It’s –relatively—inexpensive! Because your friend is awesome, you manage to save ANOTHER 10%! And there is even a nice nursery worker to help you load the tree into the truck and secure it! Wonderful! What’s not to love?

The nice nursery worker goes to get a fork lift to load your tree. Hmm. Well, probably an OSHA thing, don’t worry about it, all will be well. Besides, when you get the tree home to UNLOAD it, gravity can assist you. Down is easier than up, right? Right?

I am writing this column with the large hole-- required by the large tree—only half dug. Gardening these days requires a shovel, a pry bar, a Polaski, a splitting maul, lots of hydration, and a fan. I am hot. I am sweaty. I am dirty.

My birthday is next month. I’m asking the Birthday Fairy for a backhoe. THAT is a Great Idea!