Your Other Left

I am--- somewhat--directionally challenged. When I am traveling somewhere I’ve never been before, I prefer that driving directions not be given with North/South/East/West.  “Turn east on 286th Street SW” gives me a headache. Could you please just say turn left? How hard is that?

To be clear, I’m very comfortable when the directions advise “Head East on US Highway 12” or “Take I-5 North,” but for block by block instructions I’m going to need to hear left/right. 

Sometimes, I’ll need my co-pilot/navigator to say “Turn Right. No, your OTHER Right,” because I was raised by a left-handed mother and even though I am not left-handed—I do a lot of things as left hand dominate. (My story. Sticking to it.)

I come by this handicap/superpower honestly. Both of my parents were unable to agree on how directions work. My mom was raised on the wheat plains of Kansas, where directions where always straight forward. Like literally straight forward. In Kansas, you could see where you were headed, even if it was two counties over.

My dad, on the other hand, was born and raised in the Big Bottom Valley. His people were from “the hills and hollers” of West Virginia and must have felt very at home when they reached this end of Lewis County, with all it’s secretive nooks and crannies. Some of my dad’s people still refer to places like “Notellum Crick,” or “That Mountain Where Junior Got Chased by That Cougar,” and expect that you will know where they are referring to without their having to use the geographically given name.

So, from my mother I have inherited my left hand as my “right/correct hand.” And from my father I have inherited my inability to give directions with out some sort of story attached. As you can imagine, this makes car trips with me “highly entertaining.” 

No worries though. I subscribe to the Columbus Theory of Navigation, which is to say that the world is round-- and even if you miss your turn, you just keep going. Sooner or later, you’ll get there. 

Probably.

Either way, you’ll have an adventure.

It's always a good day when you can quote
The Princess Bride