In-laws, Outlaws, Bus, Part Two

 

Once upon a time, I used to describe a painful time in my life as “getting hit by a bus.” Disaster Bus had hit me. My life was busted open, its contents strewn about. All was painful and messy, and it seemed unlikely that all would ever be well again. Eventually, of course, life went on but ever since then “hit by a bus” has been my go-to phrase for emotional disaster.

I was reminded last week of how much things have changed, and how some things are never what you think they might be. Turns out, being hit by a bus isn’t all that bad.

One of my fellow Nanas and I were tag team spoiling our shared grandson last week and we stood in the driveway for a moment, catching up on the latest events in our lives—AFTER we spent 20 minutes agreeing how amazing/perfect/smart/beautiful our Aiden is. Eventually, the conversation turned talk of his sister’s eventual arrival and the preparations for a “baby sprinkle” in her honor. (Side note: if, like me, you thought a Baby Sprinkle was another name for baptism, prepare to be enlightened. In this context “Baby Sprinkle” is what you call a Baby Shower for a second baby. Sort of like “Baby Shower Lite.”)

Nana Judy invited me—Nana Sugar—to ride with her to Nana Lisa’s house for the Baby Sprinkle. Of course, I said yes. Then Judy reminded me that the last time we carpooled to a family event, we got hit by a bus.

Yes. A literal bus. And it wasn’t even our fault. Nor was it at all like I had imagined—it was more of a gentle bump, really. Let me explain.

The Bus

Remember the ice/snowstorm of ’17? When Portland got hit really hard with multiple inches of ice and snow on the same weekend we were headed into the city to go wedding dress shopping? You all had that on your calendars, right? Anyway—icy roads, city bus, bridge, stopped traffic, not our fault—use your imagination. Except—bump.

Since the Baby Sprinkle is in June—a month not known for its snowfall, and the Sprinkle will be held to the north, not in Portland, and the fact that Nana Judy is excellent company—I said yes. What could possibly go wrong? Besides—her SUV has enough room to fit the pony I bought...AND the receipt.

In-laws, Outlaws or Help, Help, I’ve been Hit by a Bus

I’ve been thinking a lot about family lately. The Circle of Life adds and subtracts members from our midst. The subtracting part really sucks. Sometimes it’s easy to let my mind linger there, counting my losses.

But counting my losses is not helpful, and eventually, I turn my mind to counting my blessings. I am so thankful to have had those loved ones as long as I did, so thankful for the million and one memories of them.

I’m thankful for the additions Life has brought. I am thankful that my sons have such amazing women in their lives, and that their families are growing. Grandchildren are pretty freaking amazing inventions and I highly recommend acquiring them.

 One of the best things about the Circle of Life has been something I hadn’t even thought about prior to its occurrence. When my sons married, they married into families that then became a part of our family-- and those additions have been a boon. I highly recommend acquiring in-laws as well.

 The other day I was “out town” babysitting my grandson Aiden, and as I was leaving, I met another set of his grandparents in the driveway. Aiden is a very lucky boy, he has three set of Grands that love him beyond measure. Occasionally, we have overlapping shifts when it comes to Spoiling Duty, and when that happens we like to compare notes. During our conversation the topic of his sister’s pending arrival was discussed.

Now, I don’t talk much about Baby Girl Sume’s expected August arrival. Yes, I’ve seen the sonogram and yes, they all tell me “she’s a girl!” But there is some small part of me that doesn’t quite believe it. There is a part of me that expects this is all some sort of long game on my children’s part and the moment I break down and buy something pink, they’re all going to spring out and me and say “GOTCHA! We were just punking you, OF COURSE it’s a boy. What are you, daft? Sumes only come in Boy.” And then they laugh and laugh, and I have to search thru the bottom of my purse for the gift receipt. 

Funny, you might be thinking, but what, pray tell, does that have to do with a bus? I promise to tell you. Next time. 

A New Gathering Season

 The mornings start off crisp. Frost delineates and magnifies all of nature’s rich detail. The last of the leaves still illuminate individual trees and they blaze when struck by sunlight; a torch raised against the coming of winter, lighting our way.

‘Tis the Gathering Season. We gather the last of the harvest, celebrate the season past and look inward towards the pleasures of the Great Indoors.  We usually gather our friends and family, crowd around a table, snuggle on a sofa. We break bread, we share a toast, and cheer our favorite teams. This Year, we do these things at a distance. We Zoom, we FaceTime, we Socially Distance.

This is still the Season of Gratitude. We count our blessings, inventory our gifts: love, time, health---and whatever the current state of these gifts--- we appreciate what was, what is and what is yet to be. 

Perhaps it is no accident that as the days shorten - we turn our gaze inward, counting our blessings. Instead of cursing the coming dark, we light candles. Candle after candle, blessing after blessing. Once you start counting, more gifts reveal themselves.

There is no shortage of Darkness, maybe even more this year. The Darkness seems closer at hand. But it is not the darkness that draws our eye but the light that stands in opposition. Count your blessings, the song says, name them one by one. Gather your blessings, reclaiming light from darkness. Hold those you love close, in your heart, be they family or friends or furry ones. Remember those you have lost, weep if you need to. Find a way to honor their memory that brings you peace.  

 Breathe in, breathe out. Your body, whatever shape it is in, has brought you to this moment. Give thanks for the body, beautiful in the miracle of its complexities.

Take a moment. Find some quiet in this season to list your blessings. Once you start, the length of your list may surprise you. 

Happy Gathering. 

The cousin bubble: John & Aiden

Even if Socially Distant.