'Tis the Season

‘Tis the season--- for spreading chicken poop on your garden. I’ll bet you thought I was going to talk about Christmas time and twinkling lights and gaily-wrapped packages and a fat man in a red suit, but I’m not. I’m talking fertilizer.

  Once the garden freezes over it’s the perfect time to go out and mulch your flowerbeds with chicken poop. This time of year you don’t have to worry if the poop in question has been properly aged, because it doesn’t matter. It’s not like anything is green and growing and in danger of being burned by fertilizer that is too “hot.” You can apply liberal amounts without fear. And—not to be indelicate—but the cold weather helps keep the “aroma” to a minimum. Applying chicken poop mid-July with open windows...well, let’s just say that the timing could be better.

   Why chicken poop, you ask? Here is a list of my Top Ten Reasons 

Why Chicken Poo is the Poo to Do.

10) The internet recommends it.

9) Tim Kelly does it, and has the beautiful gardens to prove it.

8) Elk hate the taste.

7) It’s all-natural.

6) Comes with free feathers.

5) It’s “cheep.”

4) Things grow better.

3) The delivery guy is cute. At least mine is. Your mileage may vary.

2) The smell will keep pesky door-to-door salesman away. Honest. I haven’t had one in years. Sadly, it does not seem to detour telemarketers but you can’t have everything.

 What can I say? Shane loves me.

And the number one reason to put chicken poop on your garden is:

It’s a good way to find out how much your spouse REALLY loves you. Especially if he helps you shovel it.