Oh Christmas Tree

Sume Christmas Tree 2013

My husband and I may have set a new record.

I believe we have our search for the nearly perfect tree down under the ten minute mark. No, I am not kidding. This is how we roll: truck pulls up to the Christmas tree farm, I am out of the passenger side door before the Ford has finished its final cough. Shane heads off to find the owner and keeper of red SOLD ribbons to mark our pick while I head off in the opposite direction to walk a critical circle around the tree we spotted on the way in. Yes, just as I had hoped, this tree has all five of the required elements.

 1) Is it taller than our children?        Check. 

2) Is it shorter than our ceiling?        Check. 

3) Is it the proper shade of green?    Check.

 4) There should be no SOLD ribbons already affixed to its branches.      Check. 

And best of all, it has the Special Sume Requirement # 5) all of its flaws, bare spots, oddly shaped branches and any other Charlie Brown-esque elements are all on the same side—the side we are going to cram up against the wall anyway. Check. SOLD.

On our way back to the truck, carrying the 8 foot noble fir between us, we spot The Sume Christmas Tree version 2015 and tag it for next year—this is a first for us, usually we just note it in our memory banks and then look in the general vicinity when the time comes., but this really ought to speed things up next year.

TIME: under ten minutes from pickup door back to pickup.  Done and dusted. But not decorated, the tree is still sitting in a bucket of water in the garage and won’t be gussied up until after finals are over. Term papers and tinsel are not cohabit-able terms in my world.

Next time: the secret to turning a Nearly Perfect Christmas Tree into The Best Christmas Tree Ever.