Who Knew?

I was all prepared to write a long rant where I complained—in a highly entertaining way, of course—about “The Weekend Deluge That Flattened My Petunias,” followed by a shorter soliloquy on “The Plague of Slugs and Grasshoppers, Nibbling My Flowers,” but then this happened:

 I woke up to a beautifully sunny day, and—tea cup in hand, slug poking stick in the other-- strolled out to my gardens. There were the Stargazer lilies I planted for the first Sume wedding, in full, glorious bloom. The lilies that I hadn’t seen bloom since that time, the lilies that every summer since have been turned into elk chow. Lilies that I have only enjoyed a seeing only bloom or two before they were destroyed by rampaging elk. And oh, let me tell you, they smell divine! The lilies, of course, not the elk. Elk stink.

I came back into my house, already re-writing in my head, singing the praises of having a fence! Who knew that lilies could have that many blooms per stalk? Who knew a fence could be that effective? Ok, so maybe everybody that already had a fence knew the answers to both of those questions, but now I know! I will tell everyone! I shall be come a fence evangelist, and travel about the county preaching the Good News and Many Benefits of Fence Having! I shall convert the masses! Fence building will become all the rage, everyone will have one! Elk will become so discouraged that they will swear off domesticated plant eating and eat only dandelions and scotch broom from now on! Anything is now, not only possible, but probable!

Editor’s Note: The odds are currently two to one that Sue’s giddy optimism will last through the first three molehills that appear in her yard. Place your wagers today.