Re-Upping: Misery Loves Company

Misery loves company. That’s true, but not in the way you might be thinking.

Traditionally I’ve always thought of the statement ‘misery loves company’ as a negative one. It’s something you say about those die hard complaint-niks. You know the people that sit around endlessly complaining about their problems: taxes, crabgrass, hangnails and the like.

I think is more truthful though when we are talking about true misery---about grief and loss, traumatic injury, or even facing fearful situations—to say that misery not only loves company, it requires it.

There have been many times throughout my life that I’ve found solace in the company of others who speak the unspoken language of empathy. There is peace in just being with people to whom loss/pain/fear is not an abstract theory; they KNOW. They know what it’s like to be “fine” one moment and gutted the next. They know what it’s like to navigate life in a situation that can be physically, emotionally, or mentally disabling; it’s hard to be able to put on pants, feed the dog, or get out of the shower. They know how draining it can be to go out in public, to stay upright, to respond appropriately. Everything is exponentially intensified. Everything.

It is an amazing, humbling thing to see people who have been through so much reach out and pull others into their world, to hold them close and help to gently guide. It’s like there is a special bond of camaraderie between those who have been there, and those who are now in the trials. Without these precious “helpers”, the world would be a very bleak place indeed.

The interesting thing is, one doesn’t have to have known them “Before” to know them well now. The struggle is our common denominator and we are all finding our way through together. Even though our paths may be very different there is a commonality that binds us, bonds us and brings us at least a measure of comfort.

So yeah, misery loves company. Very much.