Showing posts with label Math. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Math. Show all posts

Friday, September 8, 2017

Song of Fire and (Liquid) Ice


Walked out early this morning into a face full of hot wind and a yard full of smoke. For one frightening moment, I looked to the east, expecting to see a towering wall of flame and ash, but all the trees were still green. Well, green-ish. We need a break from the heat and a good rain shower. At least on this end of the country.

We live in interesting times, as the old Chinese curse goes. One third of the United States is on fire, one third is under water and the other third wants to argue about if humans impact their environment. (Note to the Mathematicians/Scientists/Sticklers for Fact among you: all statistics/ratios/data I cite will totally be made up on the spot and shouldn’t be considered based on any hard data other than how I feel at this moment in time. It’s entirely possible there is yet a third portion of the US that is watching cat videos on the internet and doesn’t care that I must now go back and redo all my math because even I know that you can’t have four thirds of a single whole. Thanks a lot, video watchers.)

Because I grew up in a small town, it came as no surprise to me that neighbor would help neighbor when the water came for Houston. It’s what neighbors do. I am reminded of the famous quote from Mr. Rodgers’ mother who said, “In times of trouble, instead of despairing, we should look for the helpers.”

Look for those running towards the problem, not away.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the problems facing our neighbors, our country, ourselves---ask “what can I do?” and then . . . do that thing. Small kindnesses can be a quiet form of heroism. Small monetary donations can add up. Individual snowflakes can add up to a blizzard. We can all do something to make it better, to mitigate suffering.

Good neighbors give me hope.

Go, Good Neighbors, go!

Friday, February 3, 2017

Math Apology

I owe Math an apology.

Math has never been my native tongue, and---tongue in cheek---I have, for years, mocked math; laughing at the punch line “how many pancakes will fit on a roof?” And “Then the devil said, ‘Let’s put the alphabet in Math!’” All very fine jokes, all very funny. (As long as you remember to carry the one.)

But--turns out--Math is important. Math is found in Poetry and in Art; in meter, in symmetry and proportion. Math has its own beautiful language— “algorithm” for example: “a procedure or formula for solving a problem.” Who wouldn’t want a problem solving formula? A Formula 410, if you will. I’ll take a case, please.

Words have always been my preferred language. And I lift my words now, in support of Math.  And History. And Music and Art and Science; Science that can explain to us some of the beauty and mystery of life. Science does not take away the mystery of Creation, it enhances our appreciation of its miracle. Science matters.

Math matters. History matters. Music matters. Art matters. Words matter. Education matters.

Today I lift my words in appreciation of education---yes, even you, Algebra. And I will vote YES for these things; YES for Education, YES for schools. Because schools matter. Children matter.


Dear Math, I hope you can forgive me. I’d like to be friends. I’m voting YES.

A Few Words about Math

I say this with pride: I am not a Math Person. 

I am a Word Person.
When it comes to words, I speak the language. Words will mind me; they will do what I tell them to do. I can make those little suckers line up and march neatly across the page or even make them waltz.
Words are flexible. They will cry for you or laugh with you; they can calm or comfort or provoke. Words can seduce you.

Math is unmoved. Math is rigid. Math is a Chinese wall. Math is not my native tongue.

Words will fling themselves at your feet, wrap themselves around your ankles and beg you to  stay.

Math is unblinking in the face of your loss and will remind you to close the door on your way out. Your tears have no power here. To math, your sighs are nothing more than wind, and Math will calculate the speed.

Words will keep you company, curl up cozy in your pocket or steal into your heart. Words will share the journey, remark at the scenery and invite wild companions to join the adventure with you.

Math will calculate the fare and frown at the ticket taker.

Words offer you the headiest of wines, ply you with sweets, and woo you— not only with flowers, but with their fragrance as well.

Math calculates the cost, eats only the vegetables at a banquet and turns in early. Math must have everything its own way.

Words will find a compromise, build a consensus.

Math will insist.

Oh sure, Math has a language of its own. Math will try to lull you with words like “variable” and “co-efficient” and “prime”… but don’t be fooled. Those words do not mean what you think they mean. In Math even “mean” doesn’t mean what you think it means.


Math is a cult, and will insist you drink the Kool-Aid.

But, as a Word Person, I am a dissenter, a dissident, a disbeliever.
Once upon a time, the members of the Math Cult used to dress alike, outfitted with pocket protectors, slide rulers at the ready. You could spot them in a crowd and easily avoid them. But having learned the power of assimilation, today they hide in plain sight, armed with tiny calculators.

Oh, you say, but Math invented the internet, and you love the internet, what about the internet?

Math may have invented the internet and even convinced us that the internet is shiny, and innocuous---despite its binary nature---but it was done so they can use laptops in public to perpetuate the evils of Math. They do not rejoice in the beauty of Pinterest, as we do. They lull us with YouTube so they can------Oh look! Cat videos!

......What was I saying?
Oh, right, Math. Evil Math, hiding in plain sight, appearing to be one of us. Do not be fooled. Do not believe in “theorems” and “imaginary numbers”. Do not believe that anything is a “given”. That’s the first step along a very slippery slope that ends in the cult of Mathematics, face first in the punch bowl.

Be strong, Word People, beware.


Be not squared.