Strange Bedfellows

     We live in interesting times, that’s for sure. As we head towards November, two Big Important Issues are weighing heavily on nearly everyone’s minds---it was THREE Big Important Issues but the recent frost has ended one of the reasons I was lying awake at night, unable to sleep. The change in weather has mercifully put an end to Zucchini Season, and I no longer have to sleep with one eye open, ever vigilant against pranksters dumping wheelbarrow loads of zucchini on my front steps.

Now we are down to two Big Important Issues: Hunting Season and the Presidential Elections. You might be asking yourself what these two, seemingly unrelated, events both have in common. I noticed that as each draws closer the tension surrounding the participants ramps up---Buck Fever, Ballot Fervor---both tend to put a crazy gleam in the eye, cause one to talk excessively about treasured beliefs that often have no basis in fact, say things that are obviously gross exaggerations and generally just be obnoxious as all get out. And that’s just Buck (or Bull) Fever. Ballot Fervor can be even worse.

Ballot Fervor seems to be generating a lot of fear this year. Everywhere I look---well, just Facebook actually, gotta fact check myself here--- I see people in the grip of fear. And I have to remind myself that “perfect love casts out all fear.”

I believe in the GOODNESS of people. I REFUSE to give into fear. Regardless of the outcome of the election---I believe in America, in my fellow Americans, and my neighbors...I believe that Love is stronger than hate, that people can hold a different opinion from mine, and "still be good people", that fear should not rule or divide us.

No matter what, we are Americans---more importantly we are all humans. We WILL work together, because the ties that bond us together are GREATER than those that separate us. “...And the Greatest of these is Love.”

So to those of you with Ballot Fervor, I wish you Perfect Peace.

To those of you with Buck Fever, I wish for you Perfect Aim. 

And gravy. 

Lots and lots of gravy.

For the Good of the Order

I attempted to bring order to chaos this week. 

After becoming totally obsessed with the political landscape recently and spending waaaay too much time on the internet, “gently reasoning” with friends and strangers alike---I’ve decided that maybe we aren’t all going to join hands and sing Kumbahya any time soon and perhaps I need to get my own house in order first. 

But the sun was shining and so I decided to get my lawn and gardens in order first. Gardens, then House, then World Peace, in that order.

There are plenty of chores to do outside in the fall; raking leaves---but more will just fall, rolling up hoses---but it’s best to have a sunny day for that as soft, warm hoses roll up tidier than cold, stiff ones. Cutting back spent perennials ---unless you’re lazy like me and believe that the sharp, dead, dry stalks of phlox will poke rabidly foraging elk right in their tender little noses, thereby discouraging them.

As I said, there are plenty of chores to postpone in the garden. 

I ended up spending the afternoon wandering around in my yard, picking up sprinklers and watering wands and scarecrow sprinklers--- that stopped scaring the elk sometime back in early August---and putting them away. One task done.

Meanwhile, back indoors my baseboard trim was being professionally installed. Another task done.

Then my sweet neighbor was going for a walk with her daughter and granddaughter and Dog Friday, so I joined them. We might not have solved all the world’s problems during our stroll, but we enjoyed each other’s company and the sun was warm on our shoulders.

And sometimes? That’s good enough.

PS---look what I found in my wildflower bed!

America’s Most Wanted

So I live in one of “those” neighborhoods---the kind of neighborhood where there are gangs of miscreants who party all night and keep others awake. Often at 1:30 a.m. I’m awakened by all kinds of shenanigans going on outside and, from the sounds of it, it’s often right outside my bedroom window. It’s all kinds of wrong. They never invite me, they damage my property, and if I go out and chase them away they just come right back. 

Filing a report with officials seems to offer little, if any, relief. The next night they are right back at it; stomping, chirping, sometimes making threatening chewing noises that send a chill right through me and are guaranteed to wake me out of a sound sleep.

All of my other, more respectable, considerate neighbors suffer similar fates. I don’t know that everyone has a party going on right outside their bedroom window, but all of us wake up to the wildlife equivalent of tire tracks on the lawn and beer can strewn about. Not to mention the hoodlum’s “personal” waste!

I’ve decided ENOUGH ALREADY and I’m taking my complaint public. Perhaps a good public shaming will have some effect.

As far as I can tell, this seems to be their ringleader. I know what you’re thinking—oh, she’s SO beautiful! Look at her proud carriage, look at those long eyelashes!

You know what I say? Look at her flower stained teeth! Look at her delicious haunches!

As we head into the fall I’m asking all public minded individuals to keep an eye peeled for this trouble-maker and her gang. When you see her or others of her type, I beg you, please take the most extreme action you are licensed to take.

And if you happen to bag one that tastes like petunias...

THANK YOU.