While I
was out of the country for 17 days, distracted by travel and delicious food, by
religions not my own, by elaborate temples and shiny shrines and cats of all
colors---and let’s be honest here: SHOPPING! BUY! BUY ALL THE THINGS!! PRETTY
and MINE and MORE and “You’re kidding, that’s only that many Bhat? I’ll have
TWO!” I don’t want to brag but I’m pretty sure I single-handedly insured that
the Thai economy would continue to boom during my visit.
Anyway,
while I was thus engaged, all manner of nonsense was continuing back home in my
absence—and no, I’m not referring to the political landscape, but to my
personal one. Grass was growing, weeds were rocketing, and the elk---ah, you’re
thinking, NOW she’s going to get back to the business of kvetching about the
elk! I’m sure you were beginning to wonder---but the TRUTH IS THE ELK SEEMED TO
BE WELL BEHAVED WHILE I WAS GONE.
I know!
I too, was surprised. And worried. Because it was TOO quiet, if you know what I
mean. However, jet lag is a Real Thing and I spent my first week home napping
unexpectedly on the couch and craving dinner at 4 a.m. So, I failed to take
advantage of the lack of destruction and get preemptive with my defenses. My
kids had been kind enough to come mow my grass a couple of times during my
absence, but my neglect soon negated their earlier efforts. The elk were free
to frolic, unmolested by my outrage and copious amounts of stinky spray. Once I
had returned from my travels to take up residency on my sofa the game was back
on.
The
grass continued to grow, but the elk were, of course, uninterested in my
knee-high lawn. As I slept, they crept, surreptitiously nibbling a daylily here
and a phlox there. Very un-elk-like, the nibbling, and it fooled me into a state
of lazy complacency.
Until I
woke up.
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