Virtual Real Life

By now, even the most blissfully oblivious among us have noticed that “normal” is a bit different than “business as usual.”

There are all kinds of advice and information—even mis-information-- available on public safety, proper hand washing, social distancing. Hopefully you’ve paid attention to the Very Fine Advice available, but if you haven’t, here’s the cheat sheet: 1) You can have the virus and share it BEFORE you have any symptoms. SO-- just because y’all are feeling find doesn’t mean you still can’t infect grandma. And since I’ve officially become a grandma, I TAKE THIS PERSONALLY.

2) Wash your hands often, for at LEAST 20 seconds, WITH SOAP (your mom was right about that) and turn off the water with a paper towel if possible. Disinfect surfaces often AND STOP LICKING DOOR HANDLES, I SEE YOU, INTERNET. For the rest of you, stop touching your face.

3) To social distance: just pretend you’re better than everyone else and space accordingly. Just kidding--but do keep 6-10 feet apart in public. That means new line etiquette, don’t get in your cashier’s face when paying/ordering, and you can go to Disneyland when this is all over, but not now. STAY HOME. Yes, you can go for a walk in the woods, but stay 6-10 feet away from bears. Or other hikers, whatever. Google “flatten the curve” and see why it’s so important we do this NOW. As an aside, I can only hope someone hasn’t turned #Flatten the Curve into one of those risqué sites...

If you can afford to, consider keeping your appointments with small business owners, but keep them “virtually”. Order your coffee, pick it up and then chat with your buddies via FaceTIme. Personally, I’m “keeping” my appointments (paying for them) but not going “in office” to get them. I can help keep my local economy going, I can keep myself and my neighbors safe. I know not everyone can do this—but if you can, please consider it. I promised my hairdresser I wouldn’t cut my own bangs in the meantime, so I believe she’s on board with my plan.

4) Take care of your immune system. Laughter is good medicine, so here’s my recent favorite, regarding toilet paper hoarding: “Back in my day, there was so much TP, people used to literally string it up in the trees of their enemies.”

 Eat your veggies, drink plenty of water and get plenty of sleep. Mom was right again!

 Check in with your neighbors, Senior Citizens, and friends. We all need connection, even as we “distance.” Thinking about others takes your mind of your own worries. 

We truly are all in this together. Six feet apart.

Got Shots?

Hunting season has pretty much come and gone but I still want to talk about shots---flu shots, specifically. I had the flu once, back in the mid 80’s and it was an experience I swore never to repeat. UGH. So, every year, like clockwork, I get my flu shot.

Except for this year. Because I was “busy.” And I was going to “get around to it.” Eventually.

Spoiler Alert: instead of a flu shot, I got the flu. And before I could kick the flu to the curb, I got pneumonia, and a trip to the ER to get rehydrated and pumped full of antibiotics. Three weeks of feeling crappy before I’m beginning to kick this thing. Triple UGH.

So, if you haven’t gotten your flu shot yet—please stop reading this AND GO GET ONE. Seriously—I’ll wait. It’s not too late in the flu season to go get your self some protection. Bonus feel good opportunity—by getting a flu shot you can also help provide “herd immunity” to those whose immune systems won’t handle a flu shot. Another bonus? You will have fewer people like me in your life going on and on about how sick they were, the importance of hydration and a good support system, blah-blah-blah. Trust me, I have enough self-awareness to know that graphic descriptions of the many ways the flu can mess you up is not enjoyable listening.

You promise to go get a flu shot and I promise not to go into detail. Deal?