A Modest Proposal

You can feel it in the air----that most wonderful time of the year!

Hunting season is upon us and hopes are running high. Visions of trophy bulls dance in my head...and by “trophy bulls” I of course mean those beasts with the biggest, chompy-est teeth and the biggest stompy-est feet. And by bulls, I of course mean cows. All twenty-one of them, standing ankle deep in what was once my flowerbed.  Along with one little, not-quite-legal bull. 

                                                                                   Grand total? Twenty two.

Elk in this photo are more destructive than they might appear...
and not all 22 would fit in the frame, but they are there, believe me.

That’s the problem with elk---they’re mostly cows, mostly off limits except to the lucky few; those hunters who have been blessed with a cow tag. And that doesn’t solve my elk/flower problem. It doesn’t take a mathematical genius to realize that 21 cows plus/minus one cow tag still equals NO FLOWERS, no matter how many times you carry the one.

So I have a suggestion to make: next season, along with every bull elk tag sold, all hunters get a provisional FREE cow elk tag. At the end of the season if you haven’t filled your tag with that elusive trophy bull you are then free to tag and bag a cow elk. Actually, I’m feeling generous. Go ahead and take a free cow anyway! And if you don’t have enough freezer space, go buy a new one. Think of all the money you will save on meat! Think of how this policy could stimulate our economy!  It’s the New Deal American Dream: an elk in every freezer!

I suggest that this policy remain in force for three years and then we re-visit it and see if it needs any fine tuning---perhaps two cows/one tag? I’m open to compromise.