Mousecapades: Of Mice and Women

I live in the country, surrounded by fields and streams and trees and other assorted items of the natural world--including varmints. In my daily life, the varmints that cause me the most concern are usually elk, followed by moles, the occasional mosquito, perhaps a raccoon or six; once in a while, a coyote will menace my neighborhood. I’m thankful for the big, --sometimes slobbery --neighborhood dogs that keep the coyotes mostly at bay, and are also gentle with my cats. So thankful, in fact, that I often feed the dogs crunchy dog biscuits on my doorstep. They make my doorstep a bit messy at times, but no worries, I’m not afraid of a few crumbs.

I am also not afraid of mice. I feel like it’s important you know that about me. While I am not afraid of mice, I am also not fond of them. I don’t care how cute they are. Fortunately for me, the house I live in is a secure, mouse-free environment and rarely, if ever, do I have occasion to interact with them. Which is also fortunate for the mice, as it turns out.

My cats are, by agreement, supposed to keep me safe from mice.

Or so I thought.

Abby

I’ve learned to give my Abbycat a little kitty pat-down before I let her in the house, so that I can thwart any attempt to smuggle kitty-contraband indoors. If I don’t do this, she will release her Catch of the Day indoors, where she can hunt it later—in comfort and at her leisure. I never have to worry about Anniecat, as she is almost always in my lap or snoozing on the sofa.

Annie

What I haven’t learned to do IS KEEP THE DANG DOOR SHUT SO THAT MICE SEEKING CRUNCY DOORSTEP CRUMBS DON’T ENCOUNTER AN OPEN DOOR AND DECIDE TO VENTURE IN.

Total disclosure: I’m not for sure exactly HOW the mouse got in the house. I know I did leave the door open for an indeterminate period of time when I was doing onequickthingrealquick outside. Perhaps the mouse ran in on its’ own. Perhaps Abby brought it in while I was distracted by an unexpected visit from an old friend in the midst of my onequickthingrealquick. Perhaps Annie—nah. Not Annie.

Anyway, my point is: mouse, house, 3 a.m. AND I AM NOT AFRAID OF A STUPID DANG MOUSE. I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!

Narrator voice: I’m not sure that was a roar, exactly